User Profile

I was born in the barbaric north where people read books at dinner and get onion dip in the bindings. Captured at 16 I was chanined to the reference desk at the Beverly Hills library. It was my job to serve the patrons when they would come in and ask for" like I need the latest catolog of Fredricks of Borneo. Like you know the one where they took the mother orangatan who was nursing her child, cut her up, and turned her into these realy Betty leather pants. But they didn't do anything with the kid. I mean I could have got a really good purse out of it. Like O my Gahd!" During the great lipstick wars("Like this valley sales drone sold me a shade that is so five minutes ago attack!)I managed to escape. Having no shelter or future. I found myself enterd in the Scholastic glatiator games. I became a Hogwartsman. It is the Hogwartsman's job to bean his opponents with the really thick book in the series. The one that causes weak men hurnias. Having caused so much brain damage(my victims would spend time in the Romance section!) I was cut free. Using my Hogwartzman skills I became a soldier of fortune. I have busted ghost writers, been a copywright pirate(Avast my heartys the sequal to the Davinci code, the Michaelangelo Bazooka Joe Comic is in Galleys! Prepare to be copied!) And finaly I became King of the Children's Librarians, having built a Dr. Seuss collection with my bare hands. But that is a story for another time.

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